What is self worth?
Growing up inside of a cult for two decades of my life, I was constantly fed this lie: the idea of thinking you have any kind of inherent self-worth – well, that's from the devil.
I was trained to think I was less than.
Supposedly, that was to make me more humble.
In reality, being told this every day created internal complexes that have taken me years to unravel and heal from.
Today, I have a little daughter of my own.
I have vowed to raise her hearing these words instead:
You’re smart. You’re amazing. You’re kind. You’re good.
And in the end, here's what I know.
Your individual self worth isn’t tied to anyone but YOU and your Creator.
I am a free person. I can rise above my circumstances.
I can rise above the low worth other people might place on me.
I am made in the image of the Creator.
I have a talent, and I can learn how to use that, put in hard work, the investment, follow the call, and act on my passion.
Let the lies go.
You have self worth. Don't let anyone tell you differently. (That includes the little voice inside your own head. ❤️ )
You Have Self Worth – Inherently
Knowing your own self worth doesn't mean it’s okay to trip on your own ego. It doesn’t mean you’re better than the rest.
But it DOES mean you realize your value.
And you don’t discount your worth—for anyone, anytime. You stand strong in who you are. You treat others with that same realization, too. You don’t ask to bargain or discount others when you buy from them.
My pastor, Bill Muench, once said: "When you know WHOSE you are, you know WHO you are."
God made me. He is infinitely wiser, smarter, and more capable than me.
Knowing in Whose image I am made, and Who I can rest in, gives the greatest sense of peace.
5 Practical Ways to Realize Your Own Self Worth
If you’re constantly devaluing yourself, or you can’t shut out those toxic voices in your head saying you aren't good enough… what are some tangible ways you can break free?
Here’s what I’ve learned, spending the last nine years of my life healing from incredible toxicity and over two decades of life in my father’s cult.
1. Realize your worth DOESN’T come from, nor should it be measured by, others.
This is also said in other ways, such as:
- Give no F*s
- Don’t take s&6t from anyone
Basically, yes. ✅
You can do this with a good heart, too. You can say something like,
“Thanks for that advice, but I’m going to with my gut on this one.”
I’ve had to decline the advice of well-meaning people who thought they were giving me advice on how to act better. And that’s exactly what I’ll say. "Thanks, but no. I’m going with my gut."
If someone has spoken very toxic words to you… (you should see some of the emails I get – from complete strangers! 😳 )
That toxicity, that mouth-spewing low worth nonsense, is their problem – not yours.
As much as you want to type out or blurt out that angry response, it isn’t worth it. Let them go. Eventually, what they’re putting out will come back around to them.
2. Learn and grow from failure, but don’t attach failure to your worth.
You WILL fail.
It’s one of the only guarantees in life.
For example, when you pick up a new skill for the first time, expect to fail. But it’s through failure we learn. We learn how to get back up, try again, and finally succeed.
The important thing is that you don’t identify with failure and attach that to your self worth.
Don’t demean, belittle, or beat yourself up. The only life to live is in the present. Not in the failure, the missed opportunity. What’s ahead? That’s what you should identify with.
And always, always remember, YOU create your own destiny.
3. Never turn away from an opportunity to DEVELOP yourself.
The opposite of this is stagnation. The opposite of developing yourself is staying in one place, getting too comfortable.
Remember, your self worth should not be tied to what you do – it should be intrinsic, knowing you automatically, inherently come with powerful value.
But the biggest weapon to further self worth?
Grow your talents. Your skills. Your income.
The feeling of accomplishment is incredible.
4. Rejoice in your UNIQUENESS.
Dr. Seuss said it best: “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”
THAT is what makes you special.
What makes you quirky, unique? It could be the trait others call weird, strange, odd.
Celebrate that. Embrace that. Make it PUBLIC. Make it what you talk about on Instagram. I challenge you.
Through your uniqueness, your people will FIND you.
5. Follow your DREAMS.
Not acting on your dreams often leads to an unfulfilled feeling in life.
It can be connected to depression, not wanting to get out of bed, sitting around feeling inadequate.
When you walk in your passion, you wake up EXCITED for your day!
What if you don’t know how to uncover your passion?
Pick up my book, Skip the Degree. I teach college dropouts and people of all ages how to uncover their passion, in Chapter 3, How to Build a Real Skill Set. You need to uncover your passionate purpose—what you love to do.
Own Your Self Worth, and Be Inspired
Take these five practical tips to grow your self worth.
Learn what self worth is, quiet the imposter syndrome, and be ready to value yourself — then, you'll find valuing others ten times easier.
I can promise you.